[pineapple]

It must be spring.

I had a potential maintenance client ask me (quite seriously) how they could teach their children the value of a dollar if they hired me to do their maintenance. They want their son (age 10) to mow and earn money. I was speechless and couldnt believe she was seriously asking me what to do.
Would you spend thousands on landscaping then let a 10 yr old maintain it? Trust me the kid will never know the value of a dollar...

Two Mercedes in the drive of course.

Another client called me up and asked me to stake a bent-over spruce in their back yard and insisted I do it for free because the city had dug up the side of their property, removed some crappy shrubs and put in new ones, (no where near the spruce) and installed a sewer line, therefore we had 1/3 less pruning to do last year and this year.

When I told him I couldn't do it for free, and needed to see see the spruce and what is involved, he said I must knock off 1/3 of the year's maintenance price.

And he was unhappy with the contract that they sign every year that spreads their maintenance bills out over 9 months, starting in March and ending November 1st, because he pays in advance. I told him most of our clients prefer to finish paying their maintenance bills before the holidays...
He ended up cancelling our service, thank God.

My funniest moment was when a client asked me why her neighbors beds were so dark in color. I told her they had bare dirt. She asked (and I quote) "Can I get some of that?"

Whee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

[guntruck]

QUOTE "My funniest moment was when a client asked me why her neighbors beds were so dark in color. I told her they had bare dirt. She asked (and I quote) "Can I get some of that?"


LOL, thats one of the most comical scripts I've heard froma clients mouth yet! I could only hope my high end clients highly sought after that kind of "special" mulch, LOL.

[start2finish]

I had a customer call and insist we send a bobcat out today. When I replied we keep two weeks of a backlog, he told me we were a fu**ing joke and needed to get organized. I guess I need an operator and bobcat standing by for him.
ROFLMAO

bear in mind we do no maintainance of any type. just design/build.

[Lawn Lad]

Last year I lost a customer because I didn't do what they asked. They moved from an old location where we did a lot of install work and their maintenance for years. I think the move to the new house (three times larger) and their their new club membership, etc. went to their heads.

We maintained their new house (customer B) which they moved into along with a house across a little back lane (customer A), which we had been on for the previous eight years (two owners). Customer B, the one we lost, asked why we put the yard waste into a mulch pile at the back of customer A's property - where we had been instructed by the current owner and previous owner to put grass clippings, leaves, etc. Well, Customer B didn't like pulling out of their driveway and looking at the mulch pile which fluctuates in size depending on time of season. It was obviously our fault since we maintained that yard.

They proposed - we either haul the mulch pile out or plant something to hide it from their view.

So I proposed a screen planting to customer B, told her the cost and that they would have to ask the neighbor, Customer A, for permission to pay for and have the planting installed on their property.

Customer B was appalled and did not want to pay for anything on Customer A's property. In fact, customer B wanted us to approach Customer A on their behalf and get customer A to pay for the work. Customer B then insisted that we remove the pile since we put it there. I said fine, for you to hire us to remove the pile you will need permission from Customer A for us to go on their property and remove it. Customer B insisted we do it at no charge to them since we put it there. I explained that Customer A hadn't asked us to do this and they wouldn't pay for this. I didn't need to go and ask them if they would - I knew the answer and I wasn't going to put myself in the middle of the two customers.

As it turns out they also didn't want to personally walk over to talk with Customer A about this since they had called the po po on them for noise on a once a year annual party.

Too bad we lost the account/revenue - but I still can't believe the expectations of some people.

[smittybros]

We had a customer call the office asking for some dirt to be delivered. my dispatcher asked "HOW MANY YARDS" he replied ..................."JUST MY OWN" My dispatcher had to put him on hold quite some time to regain his composure

[HardDaysKnight]

Originally posted by smittybros
We had a customer call the office asking for some dirt to be delivered. my dispatcher asked "HOW MANY YARDS" he replied ..................."JUST MY OWN" My dispatcher had to put him on hold quite some time to regain his composure

That's a classic!!! Thanks for that chuckle Dan.

[Lanelle]

Dan,
That one is so good, I'm trying to figure out if I can disguise my voice and pull that on my topsoil supplier. He'll crack up too.