[fakie99]

can i trouble you guys for some honest opinions?

i have been looking at my "marketing message" over the past few months, trying to really pinpoint what is working and what isn't. i've also done alot of research on how buyers of our product (landscape installations) make thier choices. i've found that although most of us know the woman of the home ususally makes most of the decisions regarding this, we don't zero in on the fact that most of the decisions to buy are SUBCONSCIOUS. landscaping is "sensory" and i have found that the times i really "painted a picture" for a potential client results were ususally favorable. so.....i am changing around my entire marketing campaign to capitialize on the sensory impact of what we sell.

most companies simply state what they are about, how they are committed to customer service and how many matching white trucks they have. but i really think painting that picture for a potential customer is a great way to stand out.

case in point: the attached letter i'll be sending to new homeowners. it starts with sensory impact statments, not the standard "hello, i want to landscape your house" stuff. but - and here's where the feedback comes in - it is just way too far out? i want homeowners to know we can envision thier new scape, but - i don't want to sound like deep thoughts with jack handy.

any thoughts on the approach?

thanks,

jim

[fakie99]

here it is.

[Stonehenge]

Jim, I think it's a well-written letter. One thing I'm wondering, though. As you said, this is a sensory business. I like to call it an aesthetic business. Our work moves people in what they see.

Why not give them something to see?

On the whole I think the letter is great. If I had to nit-pick, I think the "making a truly stand-out look" in general is cliche. Maybe not those exact words, but that one line reads like every other landscaper's claim to clients. I think letting the work speak for itself is a nice way to go. Show a stand-out look, instead of talking about it.

[Dale Wiley]

Nice letter....

I would give them one picture that can meet as many of those illusions you are trying to make them visualize.

I would also be more blunt in trying to get them to your website...the link is great, but by telling them that they can see MORE at the website you can capture their attention a bit longer.

I went to your web site, and it has a great look. You have all the right identifiers for serach engine optimization, nice pictures and a good look.

OI think you paint a great picture, but then you go to the term "stand out" which may be more condicive to the ones who want something better thant the neighbors, rather than creating the karma that you do a great job of describing.

I would also look to reword some of hte verbage to eliminate " I would like" that you have in there 2 times. That seems to me to take away from the karma flow also. Its not about you, its about them and their home space.

[dan deutekom]

Jim

I like the letter and the approach but a picture is worth a thousand words. As a small nit pick in the sentence "flanked by masses of brilliant white flowers." Get rid of the word white and just go with "brilliant flowers". I hate white flowers but if you had just said brilliant flowers I would have imagined my favourite colours .

[mrusk]

Its a damn good letter. Way better then the letter i mail out!!

Are you using a mailing service or are you stuffing envelopes your self.

I luckly have become friends with a guy that owns a big mailing company and i barter with him. If i did not batter with him it would cost me about .88 cents a peice to mail a letter. It all ads up: envelopes, letterhead, business card, postage, etc.

Luckily it only cost me about .38 cents a peice total now.

Matt

[HardDaysKnight]

Jim, I love the letter and the website. Also the advice given so far.
I can offer you these changes because it seems to me
that the reader/homeowner may not like hedges or white flowers as Dan mentioned. Hope you find something here to help you.
Johnny.

Imagine pulling up to your new home after a long day at work: The stately trees at the yards edge invite you in as your eyes
follow the gently rolling lawn up to the well lit elegant paver walkway, flanked by masses of brilliant and fragrant flowers.
All around you a celebration of color, texture, sight and sound.
Your family's new haven for relaxation, play, entertaining and
quiet reflection. Welcome Home.

As with any new home, it's a busy time for your family.
Our company specializes in easing this transition, from
planning and design, hardscaping, irrigation, lighting and
so much more.

Why consider "Treasured Earth?"
*You"ll have a dedicated Project Manager that can answer
your questions at any time.
*You receive a comprehensive warranty with our installations
*You can enjoy your landscape all at once or see it develop in phases. We will work with you and your budget.
*Financing for your project is available


We still have schedule slots open for early spring 2007.
We would like the opportunity to meet you in a complimentary
consultation to show you our portfolio and exchange ideas.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Sincerely, Jim Meloche


Jim Meloche, President
phone
web address

[johnkeegan]

Nice letter...starting from the "Our company specializes in..." Skip the intro. Many of those things you detail won't apply to most potential customers. They may not like brick pavers...they don't want a "rolling lawn" or "green hedges," etc. Most importantly they don't have a lot of time. Get to the point. Which the rest of your letter does. And lead them directly to your website. Let your work do the talking. As I said the rest of your letter is very strong and direct, I'd say just stick with that. Don't risk losing them with an overly descriptive intro.

[fakie99]

all very good advice - thanks very much for the input. (and thanks for the re-write HDK - your changes will certainly be incorporated!)

As far as getting to the point in marketing literature, i do agree that people don't have much time. but it seems to me that most landscape companies - most ANY kind of company - concentrates on the attributes of thier company in thier marketing pieces, rather than focusing on the customer and what drives them. i have done it myself and my marketing pieces have really not had a very significant impact. so that's why i thought i's actually start out with an emotional, sensory appeal right to the customer.

anyhow, i will be re-working the letter based on everyone's suggestions and letting it fly.....

[GLAN]

I like the letter.....nice approach

Though I do not like the rather explicite descriptive landscape you are portraying in the letter........What you wrote may work for some.........but most probably would not like the vision you have written........If you can make it a little more vague........then it would appeal to a wider audience


what i am getting at is..............Why white flowers?.........why stately evergreens?

After that the letter reads very nicely gives thought and idea with enough detail and vague enough for "them" to fill in the blanks......meaning what they like to see ie; plants, textures, colors.........

[Stonehenge]

I like what Dan D and GLAN are getting at - lead them down the path of that message, but withhold enough details that their own minds fill in the blanks with their favorite stuff.

Offtopic - GLAN - check your PM's.

[Matt Kulp]

How about a picture as a watermark? Something subtle, but engages the visual impact without taking there eyes completely off of the verbage.

[r schipul]

I would agree with the above statements about being more vague and let the readers fill in the blanks. I had to laugh while reading everyone's comments, you mention the peice is geared to women and everyone who commented is male. Come on guys! If you think you know how women think, think again. Can you say Women are from Mars"? I'd imagine that the letter would be way more appealing to a women than a man. Men are more get to the point, what can you do for me and how much is it going to cost? I have used the same approach in a home services section of our paper (oversized classified ads). All the landscape companies would list their services and free estimates. My ads always painted a picture and would start something like "imagine tranquil summer days relaxing in the garden of your dreams" and never listed any services.

[r schipul]

One more thing which wasn't mentioned but I think is very important. Your letterhead says landscape design. Whether someone acts on the letter or not it shows you are creative by painting a picture. Being creative would be an attribute I'b be looking for when considering a landscape designer. In my eyes there is nothing worse than someone calling themselves a designer and then handing you a white card with standard block lettering and no logo. Now that's boring.

[johnkeegan]

Most of the woman I meet seem as pressed for time as men. Most have a full time job and are still the major caregivers (for children or parents) and are still mostly responsible for running the house. Even the ones who are both stay at home and have no kids always seem to be frantically going somewhere.
I certainly would not assume they look forward to leisurely browsing through "creative" direct mailing.