[Terre]

I need your help. Again.

I have a job, make a back yard pretty for a June wedding. Took the job in February. They bought the home in October, so they apparently didn't know what was there. I saw Bishops weed invading, lots of very large bark mulch in odd places, lumps in odd places, railroad tie garden bed, shrubs in the middle of the yard. I drew a design for them, clean it up, add some things, overseed, fertilize the decent looking grass that was trying to peek through the snow and ice, add some sod to replace the garden bed. Very tight budget so not a lot of money. Mostly labor. They really really wanted a lush green yard.

This has turned into the customer from hell.

We signed the contracts, and he immediately started pushing the envelope. He doesn't like Monsanto, so no Roundup or chemicals to eliminate the invasive Bishops weed. Told him then live with it, cause I am not digging it by hand unless he pays by the hour.

We fertilized and aerated in March. He refuses to water.

I nagged by phone and email about watering. I was told not to "talk down" to them.

I have laid the sod where I said I would. Gave them the instructions on watering from the sod farm. They refuse to "waste" that much water. I also overseeded bare areas, because since March they have acquired two Boxers. Large, but young energetic boxers, who have since chewed every step on the porch, knawed on every tree, dug up everything that wasn't set in concrete. And worn paths through what might have been a decent bluegrass lawn, (if the owner ever watered.)

To lay sod on Saturday, I hired extra help through a day labor place, since the homeowner demands I prove workmans comp. for everyone on the job. The two workers arrived before me, sat on the curb waiting for me. He went out to the street, and ran them off. Called me, ranting and raving, telling me they were druggies, drunk, (at 8am?) and now he and his wife don't feel safe in their own home. I've used these guys before. Not druggies, not drunk. Maybe unshaven, but they were willing to come work for 4 hours on a Saturday.

I've done my absolute best to talk to these people. My husband and partner tells me I have been the consumate professional. Well I only have two modes. Consumate professional and unholy bitch. I'm about to change gears.

Can someone with experience tell me how to deal with these people before I totally lose it? As for contract, I blatantly plagarized Stonehenges, and although I see in it where they can fire me, I don't see where I can fire them as clients.