We're all probably a bit mentally challenged to choose landscaping as a profession

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If you've got the will, and the skill, then you 'oughta be able to find success. I don't know anything about you other than what you just wrote, but for what it's worth a couple observations;
- Advertise yourself
- Don't buy equipment if it makes more sense to rent
- Hire a student for the summer to start. Take advantage of any employer-discounts the gov't may offer if you do so.
- Since you're onsite start-to-finish you may only require muscle-power and not a skilled hardscaper. A student can fill that need. Look for an athlete, hockey, football, wrestler, etc...
Good luck.