[Laineygal]

I am hoping that someone with experience can help me. I had pavers laid 2 years ago with torpedo sand. Not much space between each paver. A year later, the crew came to adjust any loose pavers, clean, re-sand and seal the pavers. I had heard about the polymeric sand and asked that this product be used for re-sanding. Of course I asked their opinion, if they forsaw any problems, etc. No was their reply. I brought up that if more time was involved to use poly sand that I would certainly pay - no problem. I left for work in the morning and when I returned, my patios looked great. That night it drizzled, the following day it rained and the next day that is when I saw the white film. Long story short, the guy came out, took a picture and said he was going to find out what to do about it. Then he got busy, then it was autumn - so too cold I guess. Meanwhile, my friend's husband who used to install unilock told me to buy some Xylene and mop it on the pavers - this would "reactivate" the sealer and hopefully take the white film away. He said this had happened to him once and he believes it is moisture in the poly sand coming up from under the pavers. So I did it and it did improve some areas...but the area of the patio under all my trees didn't really change.
What can I do now? Sealer or not, all I really want is the pavers to not have the whiteish look. Doesn't seem like time is wearing the white film away either. Do I have to "strip" off any sealer that remains and re-seal? I almost wish I didn't have them use the polysand.
I have another issue with my retaining wall caps....white spots...won't wash away with cleaner...these were also sealed. Lots and lots of money and here I am....that's why I want to learn what to do and do it myself.
(There is one more issue with the patio, but I'll save that question...one side is sinking a bit..)
Thanks for any suggestions .......
bty, I live in Bloomingdale Il.