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I'm approaching the 'conversations' openly, letting them know what I want to accomplish. I ask the opene ended questions and they talk. I then ask follow up, probing quesitons about specifics if necessary. I sometimes take notes during the meeting, but afterwards I always type up a summary of the notes, using the questions as the template, trying to keep it to no more than a one page summary. I then give the summary to the guy to read/review and ask him if I caught the major themes of our discussion.
I will answer questions and provide direction if they are asking for it, but I'm basically looking for open ended feedback, so I'm not giving them specific feedback on their performance, as this comes in little ways during daily stuff. I don't want to sit down formally and have an us vs them type approach.
As Marcus Buckingham says, as a manager, if you can't find four hours each year (1 hr per quarter) to talk with your people then he says you shouldn't be in managment. Like anything else you make the commitment. I didn't used to find the time either, I'm simpmly committing to make it happen. Ask me at the end of the year how successful I was at and we'll see. I'm trying to form a new habit, and by not making the process painful, but rather enjoyable from what I'm learning, it should make it easier.
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