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First thing is you don't have to necessarily go anywhere to learn plants, though it helps. There are a lot of great books out there and you can start by reading and making a point to visit nurseries, look around and ask a lot of questions. But like Penn says there is nothing but experience and education for it and both take time.
Second- if someone is asking for that kind of dough to design a 5k job they are either a) so busy they don't really want the work and just throwing it out to see of you'll bite, b) well established, high priced and out of your league for the moment or c) taking you for a sucker. My guess would be "b". That said, 3k is not unreasonable for an average size property design and $100/hour is okay for someone who has been around a while. I guarantee you that there are dozens of young or new to the business designers in the Baltimore area who are struggling to find someone to help them install thier work. Find them and try to get a couple of good relationships going. They can bring you work and you can bring it to them.
Third- you shouldn't be thinking about "absorbing" any cost of design work. If a client needs a design done they should pay for it and they should know that up front. If you hook up with a newer designer the cost shouldn't be too much and you can grow into bigger and better work together.
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