I don’t know if it’s because I run a landscaping company or because I run this site, but I swear that almost daily I get unsolicited email from China.  The emails are usually asking me to either buy their decorative or structural stone, or to buy diamond blades.  Tonight it was diamond blades.

I’m no linguist, but if I were trying to sell to say, the Chinese, I’d have someone whose first language was Chinese translate my stuff.  Otherwise, my message might come off like this one did (my commentary follows in red):

Dear Sir   – They started out right.

Today we found you are deal with cutting tools.  – Is “deal” some hip non-English way of saying “super-fly” or “your kung fu is the best?”  Like – ‘Today we found out that when it comes to cutting tools, you rock the hardest.’

Would you like to order some cutting blades now ? – Is this like the kids asking “are we there yet?”  Uh, how ‘about now?  Now?

1.Good quality

2. Excellent after-sales service – From China?  Really?

3. Favorable price

4. Bottom price – If I have to choose between “favorable” and “bottom,” bottom sounds cheaper, doesn’t it?  I’d like door #4, Monte.

Our company, Talent Diamond Tools Co. Ltd, is a leading manufacturer of various types of diamond tools in china, you may refer to our website: ***(I’d rather not give them any more airplay)***

We are looking forward to being of further service.

Yours sincerely,

Nancy Yang – How much you wanna bet her name isn’t really Nancy?

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